Sunny Day
by LilMissErotic
Summary: a story of young Severus Snape's love. Based on Sunny Day by Zug Izland.


_Would you show me the door?  
My apologies  
I will slither out across the floor  
I will crawl out on my knees  
I'm ugly, my soul is ugly too  
I have so many flaws  
I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do  
I hate myself because I..._

A skinny, pallid boy about sixteen lay stretched out on his bed in the Slytherin dormitiry for sixth year boys. He pointed his wand at the spiders building their webs in the corners of the ceiling as he gloomily thought about his day. Images of James Potter's face floated through his mind making him angrier than he already was. _Snivellus_ they called him. _They_, Potter and his trusty sidekicks Lupin, Black, and Pettigrew. Why did they torment him so? Why did they have to embarrass him in front of the whole school? Then images of Lily came to his mind. Lily, sweet Lily. How he loved her, but she could never love him, a greasy Slytherin.

_I'll stand far away!  
My apologies  
I wouldn't wanna dull your sunny day  
I'll crawl out on my knees_

If his school life was bad, then his home life was worse. He hated going home. He hated his drunken muggle father and his cowardly mother, who always looked the other way whenever Severus had to submit to his father. But most of all, he hated himself.

_I'm sorry, I wreak of depression  
I have so many flaws  
Your happiness is my only obsession_

And that Lily Evans just made things worse. He knew that she was only trying to help and thats why he loved her so much. She would never love him. He didn't want her pity. It only made him feel worse. He wished he had friends, but nobody seemed to like him from day one. He was pale, weak, and greasy. People called him a freak and oddball. Even his own family. Lily never called him these things. She was nice, but she didn't really talk to him at all.

_Just you, all you  
Don't blame me I never can believe how stupid I can sound  
For you, only you  
It's obviously my fault why can't I? And figure out what's wrong with me  
Just you, all you  
I can never truly make you satisfied sometimes I just wish I wasn't me  
For you, only you  
Maybe I'd be better off alone all I do is embarass me_

Severus sighed and stood up. He decided to walk down to dinner. As he made his way to the common room an older boy about sixteen with blonde hair bumped him.

"I'd watch where I'm going if I were you." Lucius Malfoy sneered. He was tall, handsome, and rich which were good qualities to have if you were Slytherin.

"Well you're not me, _Malfoy_." He replied, silently cursing himself for not having a better comeback. Malfoy smirked, and strutted away with his girlfriend Narcissa Black trailing behind him. Severus made his way out of the common room and up to the dining hall. When he got there he sat down in his usual seat at the end of the Slytherin table where he was, thankfully, alone. He pulled out a book and began to eat and read at the same time. He was so engrossed in what he was doing, he didn't hear someone walk up to him.

"Hello, Snivellus, what are you reading?" He looked up to see the arrogant face of Potter.

"Fuck off, Potter." He said keeping his eyes on his book.

"Watch your language, Snivelly, or I'll hex your vocal cords to oblivion." James said angrily. Suddenly, he snatched up Snape's book and tossed it off to the side. Snape looked up at him angrily and reached for his wand. James smacked Severus' hand causing his wand to fall on the floor and he grapped the front of Snape's robes and pulled him so cose to his face that their noses were almost touching.

"Look, Snape, I want you to get one thing straight. You aren't anything special. You're nothing, a nobody. You shouldn't even exist." James said, his voice a menacing whisper, "And I've seen the way you look at Evans. Stay away from her, you hear? She's mine now." Snape just glared at him and jerk himself free and ran back to his dorm. Once he got there he went directly to the bathroom.

_I'm nasty, I'll try not to get me on you  
My apologies  
God forbid, what would we do?  
I'll crawl out on my knees  
I'll stand far away  
I have so many flaws  
I wouldn't wanna dull your sunny day_

My karma last night, was your dinner  
My apologies  
I will follow you cause your a winner  
I will crawl out on my knees  
You aura, it glows like toxic waste  
I have so many flaws  
Spit and I would lick it just to taste your presence

Lily! His Lily was with that arrongant, sonofabitch Potter! He punched the Mirror in rage, glass flew everywhere cutting his fist.He searched in the bathroom for what he was looking for. Then he found it. He held the razor up so that i reflected the light. He watched in fascination as the blade sliced through his skin leaving a bloody red trail. He was tired of his life. He hated it, he wanted out, to escape. He curled up in a ball on the floor, tears flowing from his eyes and bloody flowing from his forearm. Suddenly an angry knock startled him from his thoughts.

_Just you, all you  
Don't blame me I never can believe how stupid I can sound  
For you, only you  
It's obviously my fault why can't I ? and figure out what's wrong with me  
Just you, all you  
I can never truly make you satisfied sometime I just wish I wasn't me  
For you, only you  
Maybe I'd be better off alone all I do is embarass me_

"Snape! How much longer are you going to be in there? I need to use the bathroom!" came the voice a fellow student. He put the razor away and clean up the blood and glass and opened the door.

"'Bout time!" the other said impatiently and rush in the bathroom. He looked at his watch. 9:30. How long had he been in there? Oh well it didn't matter he had something to do. Something he had been puttting off but he was going to do it tonight. He walked out of the Slytherin common room and made his way to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Nobody would bother him there. When he got there he made sure the ghost was not around and pulled a chair to the middle of the bathroom. He then conjured up a rope which he magically hung from the rafters.

_I'm staring at your picture  
Standing on the chair the rope is tied_

He slipped the rope around his neck. Tears sliding down his face. Oh Lily why? Why did you go for Potter instead?

_Once I'm dead my ghost will come and haunt you  
Cause it's you, that commited suicide  
It's you, that commited suicide  
Cause it's you, that committed suicide  
When IT'S YOU THAT COMITTED SUICIDE  
SAID IT'S YOU THAT COMITTED SUICIDE_

He took a deep breath...

_Just you, all you  
Don't blame me I never can believe how stupid I can sound  
For you, only you  
It's obviously my fault why can't I ? And figure out what's wrong with me  
Just you, all you  
I can never truly make you satisfied sometime I just wish I wasn't me  
For you, only you_

And jumped...

_Maybe I'd be better off alone all I do is embarass me_


End file.
